Friday, August 11, 2006

LFO- Summer Girls

I don't know if anyone is else is familiar with the comedy song by LFO entitled "Summer Girls" but it could quite possibly be the damn stupidest song ever created. How could a record label sign off on a song that was probably created as a jingle for Abercrombie & Fitch but was so stupid corporate declined it. If you are not familiar with this tragedy it's the boy band song that raps/talks about girls "wearing Abercrombie & Fitch". Everytime I hear it I start out laughing at the lyrics but by the end I want to bash my head through the steering wheel. It must have taken close to 9 minutes to write because any words that rhyme were accepted. For example here is an excerpt from Verse 1:

"Hip Hop Marmalade spic And span,
Met you one summer and it all began"

What the hell does that mean? It sounds like a f*cking ethnic slur.

Exhibit 2:
"When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets"

A dude who writes like this is cleary incapable of reading Shakespeare and therefore should not be allowed to call him "Billy" or reference him in a song.

Exhibit 3:

"Stayed all summer then went back home,
Macauly Culkin wasn't Home Alone
Fell deep in love,but now we ain't speaking
Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton"

I kind of want to vomit. Was it really that hard to find a rhyme for "home" and "speaking" that you had to reference decade old TV. Instead he could have used:

--Stayed all summer then went back home,
I am such a loser I am going to die alone
Fell deep in love,but now we ain't speaking
At five years old my life was peaking--

Exhibit 4:
"There was a good man named Paul Revere
I feel much better baby when you're near"

I will almost guarantee he picked up the name Paul Revere from the Beastie Boys song. NOT a history book

Exhibit 5: (My personal favorite)
"Bugaloo shrimp and pogo sticks
My mind takes me back there oh so quick
Let you off the hook like my man Mr. Limpet
Think about that summer and I bug,cause I miss it"

There is no reason to ever use Bugaloo shrimp and pogo sticks in the same sentence. EVER! AND WHO THE F*CK IS MR. LIMPET?

A quick Google search came up with this description for Mr. Limpet:
"Milquetoast Henry Limpet experiences his fondest wish and is transformed into a fish. As a talking fish he assists the US Navy in hunting German submarines during World War II."

Now he is referencing some sick bastard who had a demented fish fetish and ends up becoming one. But, not just any fish, he becomes a talking WWII hero nazi killing fighting fish.

If you are interested in reading the LFO - Summer Girls Farce here is a link.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Free Invisible Statcounter

For the last few months I have been using a free statcounter service to keep track of my stats and for the most part I am very satisfied. I mostly use it for my other site( that actually gets traffic but I also use it to my keep track of my few Fiscal Fool hits. Regardless, the last couple weeks I have noticed that the numbers don't match the numbers from my network ad companies. For example, some days I might have 1000 hits on and 800 on Adbrite and Adengage. I have to use these programs due to the fact Google won't let me use Adsense because I have "profanity" in my URL. I have probably seen 50 sites that contain ads with nude girls next to Adsense but my URL is more concerning for them....the worst thing on my site is the word "shit". I am a bitter little man.....Moving forward. I think the issue is that counts when people use the back button to go back to a page they have already viewed as a hit where as Adbrite and Adengage probably do not. As anyone else noticed this trend or have any suggestions?

Friday, June 30, 2006

Purchase Agreement

So I signed a Purchase Agreement to buy a loft in Midtown Detroit and I kind of want to throw up. I thought I was getting a sweet deal due to the awesome tax abatements I am receiving but the stupid association fees, for the most part, negate any saving. The Purchase Agreement is still contingent on a walk through of the building so that helps me sleep at night. I kind of want to just rent a dilapidated shack some where and live ghetto fabulous for the rest of my life. That way I could still piss away money on stupid things instead of doing boring things like investing in real estate or becoming an adult. I think I'll check into it.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

My sister's blog is making more money than me

How about the fact my sister's blog- A Broad Studying in Ireland - is making more money then mine after about 3 weeks. Granted she has something interesting to talk about and a well defined niche. But, I have been at it for a lot longer and am capable of using complete sentences although I have mostly been concentrating on Shitty Stories lately. Once I am down working for the summer I do intend to get back to work. I can't lose to a girl who spends most of her time trying to find her way home for the pub...I mean work.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

GM capping gas prices at $1.99

GM announced that in California and Florida they will be capping gas prices for consumers who purchase one of their gas-guzzling hogs. People who purchase a new 2006/2007 Tahoe, Suburban, H2, H3, or Yukon will get rebates on their gas prices over $1.99. To receive the rebates they will have to sign up for OnStar but this still seems ridiculous to me. I have very little sympathy for someone having high gasoline bills when:

a. They chose to buy a living room on wheels as a status symbol
b. They paid $40,000 - $50,000 for the vehicle to begin with

Why is GM catering to the rich assholes that are going to drive like idiots, ride my bumper in traffic, and weave in and out of cars in the snow like 4x4 means instant stopping?

Please advise.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Exchange Traded Fund Gains

I wrote an entry a few days back on starting a portfolio with only $100. MSN has put the portfolio into action and at this point seems to be up about 9.3%. Not bad. Although it would appear they cheated because the article was published sometime last week and there portfolio already has like $250 dollars in it. Regardless it looks like something that I may want to consider.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Exchange Traded Funds (ETF)

After reading an article a few weeks back about starting to invest with as little as a $100 I started to give some thought to Exchange Traded Funds (ETF). I hit up one of my buddies who is a financial planner and asked for a few ETFs to consider. He came back with a few suggestions and I have been watching them rather closely. The problem I have with ETFs is that they are so boring! I only own a few positions and all of them are high risk - high return stocks. I enjoy watching throughout the week as my stocks go up 10% in a day then drop 12% the next day just to go back up 5% the following. It is a small jolt of excitement in on an otherwise mundane work week. The ETF's just kind of sit there and only move based on credible market elements. I prefer the rollercoaster ride of the news driven, yet to turn a profit, gambler stocks. I am fully aware that this is not a strong basis for anyone's portfolio but I figure that is what my 403B is for, this is to try and score the big one. I have yet to hit anything big that sustained it's growth but I figure by the laws of probability I should hit at least hit one before I die. The laws do say that, right?