I don't know if anyone is else is familiar with the comedy song by LFO entitled "Summer Girls" but it could quite possibly be the damn stupidest song ever created. How could a record label sign off on a song that was probably created as a jingle for Abercrombie & Fitch but was so stupid corporate declined it. If you are not familiar with this tragedy it's the boy band song that raps/talks about girls "wearing Abercrombie & Fitch". Everytime I hear it I start out laughing at the lyrics but by the end I want to bash my head through the steering wheel. It must have taken close to 9 minutes to write because any words that rhyme were accepted. For example here is an excerpt from Verse 1:
"Hip Hop Marmalade spic And span,
Met you one summer and it all began"
What the hell does that mean? It sounds like a f*cking ethnic slur.
Exhibit 2:
"When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets"
A dude who writes like this is cleary incapable of reading Shakespeare and therefore should not be allowed to call him "Billy" or reference him in a song.
Exhibit 3:
"Stayed all summer then went back home,
Macauly Culkin wasn't Home Alone
Fell deep in love,but now we ain't speaking
Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton"
I kind of want to vomit. Was it really that hard to find a rhyme for "home" and "speaking" that you had to reference decade old TV. Instead he could have used:
--Stayed all summer then went back home,
I am such a loser I am going to die alone
Fell deep in love,but now we ain't speaking
At five years old my life was peaking--
Exhibit 4:
"There was a good man named Paul Revere
I feel much better baby when you're near"
I will almost guarantee he picked up the name Paul Revere from the Beastie Boys song. NOT a history book
Exhibit 5: (My personal favorite)
"Bugaloo shrimp and pogo sticks
My mind takes me back there oh so quick
Let you off the hook like my man Mr. Limpet
Think about that summer and I bug,cause I miss it"
There is no reason to ever use Bugaloo shrimp and pogo sticks in the same sentence. EVER! AND WHO THE F*CK IS MR. LIMPET?
A quick Google search came up with this description for Mr. Limpet:
"Milquetoast Henry Limpet experiences his fondest wish and is transformed into a fish. As a talking fish he assists the US Navy in hunting German submarines during World War II."
Now he is referencing some sick bastard who had a demented fish fetish and ends up becoming one. But, not just any fish, he becomes a talking WWII hero nazi killing fighting fish.
If you are interested in reading the LFO - Summer Girls Farce here is a link.
